mumble fumble

Oh goodness I can never be more frustrated and tensed up that I have today compared to the rest of 2010.In fact, the first day of SPM didnt even give me much butterflies/tears/stress/anger / whatsoeverrr and now that I'm home and instead of being emotional and all I decided to rant. I mean where else can I go ranting like some ah-maa than my very own darling blog right??

Anyways yes, I couldn't do my Accounts paper today like BIG TIME. No joke . I'm no people who says "ahh i cannot do la...i got only 1 wronggg ;'( " . I literally meant by like around 30++ marks flying away. Like c'mon, this is hell ridiculous, none of the spot questions this year is reliable. Can die lah trusting spot questions. I thought I was prepared so I slept early last night and now I'm just plain disappointed in myself!!! WHY DID I SLEEP?!!!! D': no you can never know how disappointed am I to myself when I had been aiming for at least an A- in my Accounts not because I'm kiasu or whatever but because this is like my only can score A. Now that its mark outta the list. Woah.. I might as well just go jump off my roof right now. No kidding. And no you wont understand because you dont have a parent constantly telling you how you gotta do better than your sister who ironically scored quite well though she can procrastinate a hell lot. I mean.. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SMART GENES?! WTF. and and and, you wont believe it, but the amount of stress my accounts teacher weighed upon me is unbelievable from last year till this , trying to maintain that freaking A but it keeps deteriorating . SO ANNOYING. super to the extend I even went extra classes everyday (NOW THAT IS KIASU) but I couldnt even do!! RAWRRRRR.. now you see how disappointed am I in myself?! FIRST QUESTION ALSO CANNOT. watafakkkkk. Okay...


Lesson learnt : never underestimate/laugh at smart people because they have so much pressure and stress actually.. I only had 1 miserable subject that made me so stress... what more those freakishly smart ones?! Oh gosh.. studying should be a crime! What has the world become! >=(


Okay.aim of this post. .. I'm just so disappointed in myself I know I can do nothing. But I can't help this feeling. My fire has been flaming from the school ...keeps going on until boyf fetches me to friends house..until i drove home..until now. Yes . The fire hasnt subsided yet. I hate myself and my mathematically , unstably distorted MIND! :'(