2011 love.

I had the best new years eve celebration anybody could offer. Spent my evening in boyfriends home having a hard time waking him up knowing I'm dating a complete pig. Grocery shopping with him too for a good steamboat dinner with friends. Good time laughing my lungs out passing time with playing heartattack and murderer. and a total bliss at the rooftop watching fireworks after fireworks from all kind of places. What more can I possibly ask for? :)

Cheers to 2011 and a brand new start for me and you !

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my year

Baby tiger and me says HELLO :)



I know it's my fault for neglecting this blog but I'm here to do my very own new years post. Haha! I know I'm very kiasu cause if it wasn't for this post I bet I would've either been sleeping or procrastinating my life away. Anyhow, 2010 has been a fantastic year filling me with lots and lots of ups and downs for me to learn from. I've come to learn that the best proof of love is trust, friends come and they go, believe in no one but yourself, take opinions from people whether or not you believe in them, and that true friends never leaves no matter how apart you may seem .

I also...

..had the closest attempt of being thrown into the water!

....knew about the existence of chocolate blog! MUST TRY!




...Travel on feet and nothing but public transport (KTM) around KL!

swam alot with the babes !

became a ghost! NOT AN EASY JOB :( its either people laugh at you cause you look tremendously ugly or they scream because you're really good at scaring people! haha

learn to give and receive lots of hugs.

play dress up.

Spent a night in Genting with the babes!

made someone happy by planning a very failing surprise for the first time in my live but it was awesome :)

set up a haunted house!

experienced being half blind during eye check ups!

enjoyed making a fool outta myself

loved and fit in with my choir friends though some people may think that being in a choir is totally unnecessary.

made a fool of myself again!

got drunked and had my sister take a very embarrassing video of me being drunk.

went to a cheerleading competition

tried a dress that I couldnt afford.

washed a car and made my parents happy.

hanged out with a retard

went to worldstage with a retard.

had Julian looking like chicken little

made friends with strangers during ACE farewell and worked together in plays , getting us the 2nd place :')

Went to ACE for the last time of my 5 years ACE life.

Had an unexpected birthday gift which I can never be more thankful of . My emotions were mixed with feeling overwhelmed and joy. I love you two , Felicia and Shin Yiing ! I still do.

Had a small celebration with them VIPS of my life.

Attended prom.

Surprises from the boyfriend.

A lotus flower from the ground a.k.a the worst gift any living girl could receive from their boyfriends. But I loved it :'))) HAHA!

Tried studying for SPM

Had a friend fall in love again and I can never be happier for her.

Loved someone for who they are.

Ate the best asam laksa

I had the best year of my life. What about you? :)

Then again, 2010 would've been nothing if it wasn't for them,

This was taken on the 12th of September while I watched him sleep like a baby. I call him the asshole. You , yes you. You're the meanest person I've ever met, some big critic sometimes I cry listening to you criticize me, egoistic, ever so sarcastic I can kill you. This sounds cliche .. but you're the most honest, caring , somewhat can be sincere with those insults and you sure do have a way with your words to turn my emotions from anger to being hopelessly devoted to you again. I love you being an ass and you mean the world to me. If not forever, but right now at least (: You made my year much much better than it was supposed to be.

My ever so loving babes. I knew Ping since I was form1 and was close ever since. Though we had some conflicts in between but what matters most is that, we've gone through the hurdles in our friendship and now we're stronger than ever can be. I truly look up to how she handles all her stuffs in a go and she has also been my tutor in History. And there goes Wei Jean, she's been the guide of my 2010. I often go to her when I seek for advice because she would never hesitate to tell me if I'm wrong and she always made sure I was on the right path. Both of them meant the world in my 2010 because they were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, my partners in crime and I've come to learn the true meaning of friendship. That there will be misunderstandings and disagreements but what matters most is how we handle it!

She will always be my half-sister. Though we've been a little set apart this year but I believe through this many years we would not lose this special bond ;)

This bunch of jokers meant the world to me. My life would've been most dull if they were never to exist!


Now I'm done with my new years post! Nights!

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There'll always be..

...messages that are meant to be saved in the drafts.
...unresolved problems just swept under the carpet.
....unsatisfaction left unspoken.
..smiles that spread across faces with the flame of hatred burning at the back of their eyes.
...words better left unsaid.
...heartfelt feelings secretly saved in blog's draft.
... friends better off without.
....lovers that are busy having their own cold war when they could be busy looking to a brighter tomorrow.
... tears that falls without anybody knowing.
...sleepless nights.
.. a broken heart.
... broken friendship.
...broken relationships.
...sorrow...


All in all, saying I'm sorry can sometimes be harder than we imagine, but if we dropped our pride for just that second, we'd realize it can also be as easy as abc. & maybe this world would just erase the feeling of being despair all the time. Stop thinking of what hurt them but move forward.

Because life is a bumpy one-way road . Do not regret what you ought to do.

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To hate someone, you had to truly love them at some point.

I've always seek my blog when I encounter emotional problems but this time I really have no clue at all what I'm feeling. Maybe in time to come when I read on only will I realize what I've been feeling tonight.

This is to all of them that read quotes like "You are stronger than that" . But they keep failing..and falling apart they just don't relate to the quote anymore and all they have at the back of their mind is.. you know what? I've tried. But you just gotta accept..I'm really not that strong as you think I am.


This is to those that had enough of being compared by family members, friends, loved ones and wished that their unique differences and capability could be given a chance to be evaluated individually instead of constantly being compared and for once in their life..get accepted.



And needless to say this is too , for the people out there that constantly feel that they've given up in love but haven't. Somehow always having that special someone to come around boosting them up..giving them the every power to break their heart but believing that they wouldn't..but in the end , it's just the same. They come and they go.


I still haven't quite figured what I'm feeling yet. Maybe at the back of my mind I know myself that this isn't what I'm feeling but it's close at least. Now , go figure :) Nights!

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mumble fumble

Oh goodness I can never be more frustrated and tensed up that I have today compared to the rest of 2010.In fact, the first day of SPM didnt even give me much butterflies/tears/stress/anger / whatsoeverrr and now that I'm home and instead of being emotional and all I decided to rant. I mean where else can I go ranting like some ah-maa than my very own darling blog right??

Anyways yes, I couldn't do my Accounts paper today like BIG TIME. No joke . I'm no people who says "ahh i cannot do la...i got only 1 wronggg ;'( " . I literally meant by like around 30++ marks flying away. Like c'mon, this is hell ridiculous, none of the spot questions this year is reliable. Can die lah trusting spot questions. I thought I was prepared so I slept early last night and now I'm just plain disappointed in myself!!! WHY DID I SLEEP?!!!! D': no you can never know how disappointed am I to myself when I had been aiming for at least an A- in my Accounts not because I'm kiasu or whatever but because this is like my only can score A. Now that its mark outta the list. Woah.. I might as well just go jump off my roof right now. No kidding. And no you wont understand because you dont have a parent constantly telling you how you gotta do better than your sister who ironically scored quite well though she can procrastinate a hell lot. I mean.. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SMART GENES?! WTF. and and and, you wont believe it, but the amount of stress my accounts teacher weighed upon me is unbelievable from last year till this , trying to maintain that freaking A but it keeps deteriorating . SO ANNOYING. super to the extend I even went extra classes everyday (NOW THAT IS KIASU) but I couldnt even do!! RAWRRRRR.. now you see how disappointed am I in myself?! FIRST QUESTION ALSO CANNOT. watafakkkkk. Okay...


Lesson learnt : never underestimate/laugh at smart people because they have so much pressure and stress actually.. I only had 1 miserable subject that made me so stress... what more those freakishly smart ones?! Oh gosh.. studying should be a crime! What has the world become! >=(


Okay.aim of this post. .. I'm just so disappointed in myself I know I can do nothing. But I can't help this feeling. My fire has been flaming from the school ...keeps going on until boyf fetches me to friends house..until i drove home..until now. Yes . The fire hasnt subsided yet. I hate myself and my mathematically , unstably distorted MIND! :'(

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